Trailer for Pakistani horror flick ‘Hell’s Ground’

I just read about this flick yesterday in the latest issue of Rue Morgue Magazine and lo and behold, today I find the trailer in my Google Reader (naturally, at the Rue Morgue blog, Abattoir). This, apparently, is like the first gore movie to come out of our friends in Pakistan.

The movie is being screened at The Bloor tonight at 9:30. Unfortunately, The Bloor is in Canada. It’s times like this that I wish I was a Canuck. And also when I can’t go to the doctor to treat a massive head wound brought on by zombie attacks because I don’t have health insurance (Medicare, of course, doesn’t cover zombie attacks). Thanks, America!

Luckily, it’s going to be released on DVD next week.

Pakistan s first splatter flick in the tradition of Friday the 13th and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre delivers spine-tingling thrills when an attractive group of teens pile into a van that runs out of gas in the middle of a dark mysterious forest. Their ghoulish nightmare begins when rotting fresh-eating zombies and a decapitated head-toting screaming banshee-like hitchhiker begin to terrorize them at every turn. But when a mysterious figure dressed in a blood-drenched burqa appears sporting a medieval weapon dripping in gore even the teens prayers won t save them from a night of savage demented horror.

Good looking teens run out of gas in the middle of nowhere? I’d make a crack about how unoriginal that sounds, but the synopsis saved itself with “blood-drenched burqa.” I’m all in.

New (functioning) ‘Martyrs’ teaser trailers.

A while back, I posted a trailer for the upcoming French horror flick, Martyrs. And it was awesome. And now… uh… it’s gone. Luckily, Twitch has saved the day by posting two official teaser trailers for the movie. And while they don’t show nearly as much as the previous trailer did (which I think was actually a Cannes sales reel), they’re still pretty intense.

Normally, I’d try to make a witty and/or funny comment right now (probably at the expense of the French) but it’s been a long, exhausting day, and I’m just too tired to be clever. I apologize to you, my adoring fans.

Oh yeah. The trailer.

Well, since WordPress doesn’t like me posting Twitch’s videos, I’ll have to direct you to the fine folks at ShockTillYouDrop, where I first saw these teasers. Enjoy!

Happy Saturday the 14th!

I made it through the entire day yesterday without posting a picture of Jason Voorhees on the blog. You’re welcome.

I fell asleep during the ‘Death Race’ trailer.

For those that ain’t in the know like yours truly, there’s a remake of Roger Corman’s Death Race 2000 coming out this year from cinematic maestro Paul W.S. Anderson (Alien vs. Predator, Resident Evil) called simply… Death Race.  I guess tacking a “2000” on the end of something to make it sound cooler is just so last year.

Anyways, Death Race looks like pretty much every other P.W.S. Anderson movie: Like it’s going to be terrible, but not terrible enough to offend me as a human being and want to claw my eyeballs out with a spork.  (That’s Uwe Boll’s job*.)

I might see it just because Jason Statham’s in it and I have a man crush on him.  It also helps that Ian McShane is hanging out in front of the cameras, though it looks like he’s kind of slumming it, doesn’t it?  And let’s not get started on Joan Allen.  She must be in debt to the mob or something.  The mob of SUCK.  Zing!

If you don’t like the crappy YouTube quality of the clip above, you can watch it over at Yahoo! Movies in whatever crappy looking format they’re using over in that neck of the woods.

For kicks, a much better trailer after the jump.

[Both trailers via the always awesome Gnolad]

Continue reading

Aja’s ‘Mirrors’ gets a teaser trailer…

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Aja’s ‘Mirrors’ gets a teaser trailer…“, posted with vodpod

…and it gets a reaction from me in the form of “Meh.” It doesn’t even look like an Alexandre Aja movie. Say what you will about Haute Tension or The Hills Have Eyes. Both of those flicks have their flaws, but at least they’ve got a great visual flourish. This one doesn’t have that grittiness to it. But then, we don’t see a whole lot in this trailer.

But we DO get to see Jack Bauer become, apparently, Sloth from The Goonies.

Am I right?

‘Martyrs’ trailer: What’s the French word for “awesome?”

FRESH UPDATE STYLEZ: Um, that YouTube video isn’t working anymore, but luckily, there are other teasers online (obtained more legally, I guess).  I wrote about those here, so ch-ch-check it out.

This upcoming French horror flick was apparently a big hit at Cannes this year and has been bought up by the Weinsteins for US distribution (which means, we’ll probably get to see it via Dimension Extreme and not in theaters).

France. A night at the beginning of the 1970s. Lucie, a little girl missing for over a year, is discovered wandering by the side of a country road. Near catatonic, she can say nothing about what has happened to her. The cops quickly find the place in which she’s been incarcerated – a disused slaughterhouse. Every indication is that she never once left the empty, freezing room in which she was imprisoned. Filthy, starving, dehydrated, the child’s body nonetheless bears no traces of sexual abuse – this was no pedophile abduction, but something far stranger. What happened in that icy room? And how did Lucie escape?

The French are on a roll, so let’s keep and eye out for this one.

[Video via Gnolad; synopsis via B-D]